This is for the WEMonday Prompt, Off the grid.
When we’d sold two homes in our state, Connecticut, and decided to follow the doctor’s orders, we did exactly what she’d asked.
She said: “Move to a warm area, like Florida, where there is no extreme hot or extreme cold, get as undemanding of a job as you can find, even if it is minimum wage. You might eventually get better, or better than you are now.”
She had said this to my husband, who’d been very sick. So, we did it. Found a beautiful area, built a home, a beautiful home, though “why” I kept thinking, “this is great for resale”, at the time, I wasn’t sure. They named their roads, in that town and I could get lost, right in our section. The “W’ section, as there were probably over a hundred “W’s” there and everywhere had a different letter, from A – to – Z.
They named their homes, too, which were girls. Ours was named Samantha and it was the only one in the town. One floor, bigger than we needed, by a lot, central everything. Two car garage, extra large, double drive-way, big. Builders who didn’t know how to do anything and didn’t want to learn. Took ’em three tries to do our tile half-right. After we closed. On Christmas Eve.
We found out that we’d moved to the lightning capital of the world, no “way” would we have done that, if we’d checked first. We also found out that this pretty little town, had bad water and it was a camouflage for rich yankees, of which we fit the last part, the yankee’s. We learned what a flash flood was, when our car started floating.
What, not “hot” meant under 100 degrees? In December, if we were lucky?
We also learned that all of those people who’d been there for years, that said that there was “never-ever” a frost, lied. After we’d hand landscaped our entire yard and it looked great, too. Yes, it all froze. We replanted and it looked great again and then we found out that those red-spot spiders all over the yard, the one’s I’d been torching the webs, with my cigarette lighter – were black widows! And that red ants, when exterminated, do not stay gone, but for a year. That spa we had on our enclosed back porch, lanai or whatever they call it? Didn’t keep a scorpion out, or even a rather large blue lizard that wouldn’t leave.
They also said that they’d never gotten hit by a hurricane, that somehow the town was protected, but the year after we sold and ran back home, it got hit. Badly. Our old home is still there though, and the Lane we’d lived on has built so much, I can’t tell where anyone we knew, lived. (The town is called a city now, and they do that by population, it’s all yankee’s) They were everywhere, when we lived there.
Anyone can get and keep a driver’s license there. We found that out at the place, which was not Motor Vehicles, but a little building with a small sign – that said, “Driver’s Licenses”. Some young girl had just flunked the computerized multiple-choice test and her mother was going to make another appointment.
They said, “She can take it over, as many times as it takes, right now if she wants, in fact.” We looked on in awe, as she kept flunking it and re-taking it, and was on her third or fourth try when we left. Her mother, who must have also recently moved there, looked amazed.
We found out that the police station closed up shop at 5:00pm and if you could get the county cops to come, you were lucky. There weren’t any.
We got out. It took us over three years to escape and we just sold it, with almost everything. The realtor said to wait six months and he’d get us 50k more, at least. We said, “No, do it now.” He thought he got less that way, but we were the sellers, and it sold fast.
Turned out “he” was wrong. The housing market crashed within three months and we’d have gotten stuck with it. So, ha, we had the last laugh. Besides, apartment life in Connecticut, suits us very well. So there!
As to high speed internet, by the way, we had only dial-up, because there was not a company in the world that wanted to put high speed in there. I know how you feel, Mr. Almost Iowa. I ran an illegal business out of our home, on dial-up. The entire time. Why? They wouldn’t give me a business license, the town was not “doing that” and I got the one honest person when I called the town hall, that told me so, upfront and how to get around it! He was a yankee, t00.
Copyright M. Nicholson 2014